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(defvarl sys:%quips%
#("TXR was taped live before a studio audience. The laughter is genuine."
"Exclusive of recycled stuffing, TXR contains new materials only."
"TXR is not a toy, but should be kept within easy reach of children."
"Do not remove this label until TXR is delivered to the consumer."
"Remove TXR any time for a complete refund of your disk space."
"Store TXR in a cool, dry storage device. Keep out of direct sunlight."
"Do not operate heavy equipment or motor vehicles while using TXR."
"Use full-strength TXR for tough tasks, or dilute with shell scripts."
"TXR causes vomiting if accidentally ingested; no need to induce such."
"If unwanted side effects persist, discontinue imperative programming."
"TXR works even if the application surface is not free of dirt and grease."
"TXR may be used in areas that are not necessarily well ventilated."
"TXR's button pops up when original seal is broken."
"TXR is tested on nothing but animals (so to speak)."
"Disclaimer: TXR has been found to cure cancer in lab mice only."
"Garbage collection is on Tuesdays: bring unwanted pointers to curb by 7:30."
"Warning: may explode if heated, cooled or maintained at room temperature."
"TXR is made with 75% post-consumer recycled cons cells."
"Poke a few holes in TXR with a fork before heating in the microwave."
"Caution: objects in heap are farther from reality than they appear."
"TXR doesn't really whip the llama's ass so much as the lambda's."
"TXR is recommended for either internal or external use. Whatever, y'know?"
"TXR is enteric coated to release over 24 hours of lasting relief."
"TXR contains many small parts, unsuitable for children under 12 months."
"TXR is packaged by the byte; contents may compress during shipping."
"Discontinue coding TXR if experiencing dizziness or shortness of breath."
"Self-assembly keeps TXR costs low; but ask about our installation service!"
"Some mild discoloration of syntax highlighting may occur with age."
"TXR is made with equipment not contaminated by peanuts ... r-r-right?"
"TXR is believed by fools to be free of defects in workmanship and materials."
"Adults using TXR should be closely supervised by children."
"TXR may be worn in seven different ways, in any weather."
"TXR is light and portable; take it camping, or to the Bahamas."
"Psst! The complimentary Allen key that comes with TXR is inpired by IKEA."
"Ethically produced using volunteer geek labor in a first world country."
"Program contains violence and coarse language, demanding user indiscretion."
"TXR is written, directed and produced by, not to mention starring, Kaz."
"Emergency exits are located in the standard library."
"Your history may used for automatic recommendations, like 'stick to Python'."
"Without the generosity of users like you, this program would exist just fine."
"TXR's no-spray organic production means every bug is carefully removed by hand."
"Upgrade to TXR Pro for a one-time fee of learning Lisp!"
"When transferring between containers, do not siphon TXR by mouth."
"Use TXR only as directed. Unless you are intelligent, curious and creative."
"Reminder: your account balance of 37 closing parentheses is past due."
"Check with your physician before commencing any strenuous Lisp program."
"Apply today for a TXR credit card, and get 1MB off your next allocation."
"Join TXR Rewards now, and get 15000 closing parentheses you can use anywhere."
"TXR's car insurance now offers cdr coverage for bumper-to-bumper protection."
"Please listen carefully to the following spec, as our Lisp has changed."
"If TXR were TV, it would require music by Mike Post and Peter Carpenter."
"TXR was set to appear on the cover of SI. Yeah, no. Learned about the jinx."
" |E|\n|V A N|\n |S|\n |T|"
"Lispが好き、とても好き、私はLispの...全てにいつも...夢中なの。"
"こんな広い分野の中、私が愛する...言語なら、やはり...Lispだけ。"
"This area is under 24 hour TTY surveillance."
"This TTY may be recorded for privacy-violating and evidence-gathering purposes."
"Imitation is the benignest form of forgery."
"This could be the year of the TXR desktop; I can feel it!"
"TXR's suggested retail price is $0. (More in Canada.)"
"All of our cores are currently busy servicing other applications."
"For faster service, do not time out & retry. Syscalls are answered in sequence."
"Pour le service en la langue Shell, appuyez sur Ctrl-D."
"Everything you type here can and will be used against you in comp.lang.lisp."
"Allow me to expand a bit more on why there is no substitute for macros."
"defmicro: error: expansion is larger than original form: switch to defmacro."
"Read-eval-disagree-downvote-insult treadmill initialized! Enter an expression:"
"If you get your macros hot enough, you get syntactic caramel!"
"Syntactic toffee recipe: melt butter over low heat, stir in Lisp macros."
"TXR needs money, so even abnormal exits now go through the gift shop."
"TXR Lisp has no protected class members; C++ refugees may face discrimination."
"In programming, you want rigor, but also to recognize and avoid rigor mortis."
"TXR Labs engaged in gain-of-function experiments as far back as 2009."
"TXR Lisp has dark mode now: global *dark-mode* and lexical with-dark-mode."
"Merry GNUsmas, dear FSF friends! ... Crap, wait. That's 'Samsung' backwards!"
"Truly future-proof systems are rare; future-resistant ones are everywhere."
"Lack of personality is not an effective defense against impersonation."
"TXR kind of supports IEEE 754.00000000000003 floating-point."
"TXR's sound system features 120 dB separation between quarreling audiophiles."
"Using TXR is a way of being carcdrate to the future code maintainer."
"TXR was there through my incarcdration; wanna show the nation my appreciation."
"I've almost decided to wipe my kitchen floor. I feel ever so closer to mop!"
"I'm confused; is this piano recital Rimsky-Korsakov or Wernicke–Korsakoff?"
"TXR Lisp environments use genuine Saskatchewan sealskin bindings."
"I'm not addicted to procrastination. I can start any time I want to!"
"Kant figure out it out by Pure Reason? Check the Immanuel!"
"Where were you last night? I found strings from another language on your shirt!"
))
(defparml sys:%quip-rand-state% (make-random-state))
(defvarl sys:%shuffled-quips%)
(defun quip ()
(unless sys:%shuffled-quips%
(set sys:%shuffled-quips% (shuffle sys:%quips% sys:%quip-rand-state%)))
(pop sys:%shuffled-quips%))
|
